I feel so hollow. So empty. Like I have absolutely ruined everything I have tried to work for in the last year. Friendship ruined. Two of them. Relationship ruined that hadn't even started. I feel sick to my stomach. I am so angry at myself. I am angry at my anger which is beyond frustrating. I do not know how to begin working to fix this. I do not know if it is mendable. I suddenly feel lost. I feel rejected; which honestly I cannot blame them. Most of all, I wonder why people like me--people who live in anger and depression--even live when they cannot function like normal human beings. Some things I will never in my life begin to understand.
And yes, this is my form of sulking. Better than listening to Conway Twitty and eating bacon by the shit-ton. But I will still do that later tonight.
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