Beauty in the Breaking

It is the constant hurting deep in the soul that keeps you longing for the desire to be with someone and to be adored by that same said individual. A feeling over comes the body and even heart, giving you a feeling that you would swear you have never experienced before. You only say this because the pain has been lingering deep within old wounds for so long, burning you until you are almost completely dead inside, then all the sudden someone comes along making you feel the energy that has been hidden for so long. The same hidden emotions streaming out makes the said person seem like a god or goddess beyond all reasoning and slowly become the most beautiful creature. Your heart flutters madly, trying to beat out of your chest and into theirs, wanting your hearts to collide and become one. The relization comes that no matter what he/she could do, it would not make you stop feeling a strong connection to their heart. You can ignore the feeling and go on like nothing has happened or you can follow it and find yourself in a tangled situation, or so called realtionship. The said relationship becomes a process of slowly waiting out all the tears, pain, and suffering just to find out that the said relationship was not all it was cracked up to be and you have, once again, you realize you have wasted time on something that was wrong from the moment your eyes met the other's. Ignoring the tugging from the heart is not such an easy task either. You are left convincing yourself that things would be better had you just leave it the way it has always been and begging the other to change their mind about you, trying to make them see all the ways that you are wrong for them when in reality you could very well be the best thing that has ever happened to them...if only for the moment. When you find yourself at the beginning of such a situation and start feeling a little lost or confused you should trust your instincts but never run and you should never fight the feeling that you get deep, even if it burns like salt in a fresh cut. There is always beauty in the hurt and in the pain and it will always linger there. Things will always change and you will always wonder, "What if" about something. There is always going to be that risk of choice and decision when you come to a new person in your life, so why not throw yourself out there, just to have the chance to say you tried. Give your heart a jump start and remember at the end of it, do not regret anything that made you smile. If only you are happy for a moment in time, it is worth the beauty of pain in the end--as long as it is not intentional.

When You Look Around, You Question

As hard as it is to understand, there is many worlds within this one big world. Every life is a different world.  Every person is a different life. Every thing has a different world, living or not. The point of this blog was supposedly going to be about how different worlds can be, even if two people are in the exact same place at the exact same time, but I realize it is going to be a little bit more complicated than that, so continue to stay with me as I travel through a series of thoughts that may confuse you or entertain you. This is certainly not made to upset you, I can promise you that much. 

I was reading Velocity by Dean Koontz, and still am actually, when something caught my attention. Normally I do not pay attention to random words within a book, but this kind of jumped out at me beyond all reasoning. I forgot about it until just a few moments ago when I was trying to help a fellow human with their issues (more like just listening and adding comfort). After a guy says, There's just one world. Another guy responds with, "No, sir. There's a billion of them. Mine's different from yours and that's the way it's gonna stay." It makes me realize that, in fact, is true. Even when your world so-called collides with another, you have the option to keep two worlds separately--yours and theirs--or combine to attempt to make one. But even still, when the two worlds come together to create one, do you really know what the other is doing at all times? And is it not still different than yours?  If you are sitting on the same couch, you are not sitting in the same place, having the same thought, drinking the same drink, or even sharing the same kiss. To each it is a different place, different thought, different sip of the drink, and even different sides of the kiss.


It starts to make me, as a human, question things. For example, I wonder how much I know about the people I have let into my world and how much they know about me without me having to tell them. Lately, I can guarantee some people know more than you think without you even realizing it. Whether you have said it aloud or when you thought no one was listening, there are people that hear and know almost everything. When their world collides with yours, even in a friend manner, whose to say you know everything about them? In some situations, it would be easy to assume you know everything just because you know their favorite color is green, their eyes are hazel, and they love coloring as a past time but in reality, you really know nothing. Even some of what they tell you could be a simple lie. With this being said, I actually have started to second guess myself and everything/everyone around me. Not saying you should, but you should take this into consideration and get to know a fellow person before trying to combine two worlds into one. Seeing of how I have established the difficulty of doing so, you should give the other world that is coming into yours a little freedom to express, feel, think, and speak for himself (or herself).



And of course, I had plans on this blog being a little bit longer, and filled with more entertainment because I feel that it is incomplete at the moment but something tells me to stop. Mainly because I just drew a huge writer's block on what my issue was last night--when I started the blog--and I cannot, for the life of me, remember what I was going to bring up to make a point. Sad but true story.