I know many question their reason for living and contemplate their reason for continuing on in their lives. Most of the time, the answer comes with someone else involved. What happens when we're tired of living for others and want to die for ourselves? I have heard so many people say, "you should live for yourself" but in reality, that is beyond hard to do, especially if you are hurting inside and have no reason to even get up in the mornings. The days become long, the nights become lonely and still laying awake at night, the said person always starts to question how things would be if the heart stopped beating at that very second. Obviously someone with depression isn't going to get better. It is a prolonged condition that not even medication can fix and all they do is bring others down around them or hold everything in until they literally drive everyone away. I understand everyone hurts and I understand people take years to get over their grievance. But what happens if they do not get over it? They are miserable. This could very well be the definition of depression. Most do not understand what happens during an, let us say, outbreak of depression--of course it is not like herpes but it could be just as annoying and painful (if herpes is painful?). But let us not label or try to go into a scientific doctor mode. People having suicidal thoughts and contemplating what their life means do not need a doctor. They need a hug and someone to say, "Hey, I know what you are going through and your reason for living is to find a reason to live. When you find that reason, you will have your answer. And only you can live for that reason so make it a good reason."
I have seen people overcome such sadness, walk away from alcohol after being an alcoholic for so many years, stop weed after smoking for a very long time and making it a daily thing; therefore, I know people can walk away from things and I know they can do it for themselves and no one else. No one can change unless they want to. Of course, friends may offer support and try to help as much as possible--even if it is kicking your ass once in a while to get you back on track. I just think someone in such as the suicide position needs to think about the reason they want to die verse the reason they want to live. Let us say for a moment that said person is you. Do you want to die to prove to everyone that you are some how messed up? Do you want to die to escape the pain and abuse others have put on your heart? Do you want to get back at someone? Do you want to get rid of all your issues? Do you really believe there is no hope? Let us say all of these are a yes. Let me ask you this, is the reasons for dying more than the reasons for living? By this I mean, do you have any unaccomplished goals in life? Have you finished all that you have wanted to do? Are you sure you want to die and not create more extreme goals to accomplish? Until everything you want done is done, you should live for yourself--not die.
To me, to live for yourself means setting your own bar and to set your own bar should be low. When you achieve that, set it a little higher, and then keep setting it higher. You cannot learn to run unless you learn how to crawl. I am going to close this with this thought and hope it will help someone as it has done for me.
"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken. Hello. I'm the lie living for you so you can hide. Don't cry." - Evanescence, Hello
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