Ugh...

I have been yelling at my friends lately, without thinking, about their dating lives. They seem to only chase things that will end up hurting them. Then I turn around and realize, I am doing the same thing as well. 

Something just keeps me hanging on to someone no matter how much I want to just give up and go on with my life. I've tried to move on, I've tried to get a new guy around, but I just can't. I guess a part of me would rather be in pain that actually find some way to be happy. But if I can't be happy alone, I can't possibly be happy with someone could I? Thus why I plan on staying single for the majority of my life. It just seems easier. Well easier in the long run. Right now, it pretty much sucks.

I'm not sure what hurts the most; being friends or just going on like he doesn't exist. I've tried both but I can't do either one. Every time we talk, it seems like my friends have to spend all night trying to pull me back together and the only time I'm actually happy is... well... never. I've been told don't give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about but honestly giving up may be the best option. I'm just not sure how to go about that. 

I keep moving forward two steps and then falling behind about twenty. I just don't know what to do and I have no one to really talk to about it since all my friends are tired of me hurting all the time... 

So really. What do I do? I'm out of ideas, tired of trying things that just won't work... and most of all, I'm tired of crying. 

"What do you do when your angels have all flown away? There's an ache through my body that won't go away." -- A Certain Cemetery, Pretty Girls Make Graves